[OF COURSE NOT!! He'll accept the accusatory look, though, even as he moves to drop the bacon into the trash and then wipe up the floor. No, it's just his neuroses at work again...]

I wasn't planning on eating it. Besides, there's no way anyone would seriously think poisoning food and leaving it out in the hall for someone to grab would really work, right?

[If even Gilbert thinks it's a dumb idea...]